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Gettng Out of Your Own Way
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Blog - Linda's Views

Gettng Out of Your Own Way

 

Getting Out of Your Own Way...
by Linda Rendleman, M.S. 
Maybe some of you can understand my frustrations. Maybe some of you, too, have been at times a little crazy from juggling too many things, coming up against barrier after barrier, and yet not understanding why? Have you, like me, felt the frustrations of working really hard toward what you think are good and honorable goals only to find door after door closing in your face?
That’s seems to be my life lately. Hard work gets harder and celebrations get fewer. Things seem out of control, no matter how hard I try to keep them going in the direction I want. It seems so difficult these days to keep on track. Reminds me of a story I used to read to my children about Tootles the train
Now, this is not the “I Think I Can” story. No, not that train. Tootles was a lovely little train who hung out with all the bigger, more powerful, more serious trains. They had jobs to do, box cars to pull and places to go. Tootles was training for being a big ole responsible train just like them. But Tootles had trouble being so serious, following those important rules, and “staying on the tracks”…The big accomplished trains told Tootles every day that he simply MUST stay on the tracks” no matter what”.    Tootles kept playing in the meadow, smelling the flowers, and chasing the bumble bees. At his young train engine life, Tootles already knew the importance of relaxing and taking joy in the simpler moments.
The story of Tootles  teaches us to stay focused on our goals, but to take life less seriously, unlike many of his stern colleagues, the bigger more important trains…to, as my friend Dr. Sue Morter says in her piece in my book, just Sit Down. Enjoy the day...the quiet moments and the goodness our days bring to us.
Remembering that story, and discussing my frustrations with my friend recently, the light bulb went off! I’ve been getting in my own way…simply getting in my own way and blocking the good things that are trying to get to me. Do you get it? Does that happen to you? Do you get in your own way like I do?
In Peter Zukav’s book, The Seat of the Soul we are taught about the Law of Effortlessness. The basic tenet is that if things are too hard they are not right. Think about it in your own life. When have you been in a situation where there was “push…push…push” but no matter how much you tried, things just weren’t working?  Maybe you felt this with a personal relationship. Sometimes all the effort in the world won’t make it right. Or a business deal. No matter how you try, it just doesn’t come together. The Law of Effortlessness points out that when things come to us easily, they are the right things. When there is constant friction, maybe those things are just not what we should be doing, anyway.
So how do we get to this place of effortlessness? For me, I need to get out of my own way. I need to just open my heart and mind to the universe and let life lead me.Let life direct my feet. I can put myself in the right place through preparation, knowledge and work, but then step back, breathe and let the energies of the world direct me. Effortlessly.
 Getting out of my own way….letting go of the control…breathing…praying…appreciating the time in the meadow and the sunshine on my face. Loving myself for doing my best and letting my path be directed where it effortlessly will take me.
 
 

Adrienne Hart
Great story. I think that too many of us (women) have that same control issue. My husband tells me- given the chance - things will get done. Maybe not the exact way, or at the exact time, but things will get done. i, too, have been trying (trying, being the key word) to get out of my own way.
03/04/2010 12:01
Jean
I can't believe how simple this is but how true! It doesn't just apply to women though. My husband works so hard at his job but doesn't seem to get ahead of the game..no vacations, no time off...what hit me the most about this is the statement, "if things are too hard they are not right". I plan on sharing this with him this very day! We all get so busy trying to get as much done as we can, pushing ourselves and others to achieve more and more. Achievement is great except when doing more and more gives less and less happiness.
03/04/2010 12:02
Elizabeth Price
So very true. How much do we miss by pushing so very hard to accomplish 36 hours worth of work in a 24 hour day? Spring time, especially, is an excellent reminder for me to stop and just breathe a few times a day, and notice all of the little things that are so important...
03/04/2010 12:14
Toni
Nice piece, Linda, and a good reminder. Love that Tootles!
03/04/2010 12:23
Judy
Awesome! This is right where I am with my work. As an author I have felt I must constantly be marketing, even when door after door has closed. Many have opened, and those are the ones I'm choosing to walk through this year. Your article put into words what I'm feeling and doing, and it really helps! Thank you! http://www.judydippel.com/
03/04/2010 02:26
Jim
Maybe it's time to take a leisurely weekend trip up the coast, take in a couple of wineries and enjoy the wildflowers...
03/04/2010 04:05
Mary
Have you ever heard the comment, "The harder I work the behinder I get"? That is how I have felt for the last 18 months trying to keep a small business afloat. Your comments make me realize I need to enjoy the day and relax. Maybe I am getting in my own way!!!!
03/04/2010 06:33
Lita
Thanks for the reminder - I share in your pain and similar experiences. Time for a little fresh breath of air and allow life to take its course!
03/07/2010 09:53
Char Elle En, ACSW
So true! As I often tell my life coaching clients, frustration is the feeling you get when you try to do what you are either not able to do because it is out of your control, or you have not found a way to do it that will work! Sometimes effort is needed to do something important for us to do, but if progress is being made, there will not be the feeling of frustration, or the sense of pushing against a wall! Remember the Serenity Prayer...Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
03/20/2010 05:36
Arielle Marie
It's morning of the 5th day of my vacation. I'm sitting on a verdana starring into a beauty lake, finally relaxing/enjoying the moment. I just read your article. It was just what I needed. I've self-published my 1st book while working 60 hours/week. It's a motivational gift book for women encouraging us to find our dream & work it. I've been so dscouraged with my inability to actually market my book, that I can't even take my own advise. I have also lost faith in me. Thank you for your words.
03/25/2010 10:23
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